• walking at the gym instead of running first thing in the morning
  • not wanting a giant salad for lunch every day (though the other day I had a massive craving for the feta/white bean/whatever kind of dressing that was that I got at Kroger that I usually put on top of my salads)
  • cutting back on caffeine until this morning I was stuck with a solitary cup of decaf (no pumpkin coffee this fall! ugh)

The fatigue, though – that’s been easier to live with, especially since I’m, you know, walking and not running first thing in the morning, and I’m not really doing much with myself these days. It makes it easier to deal with falling asleep on the sofa by 9:30 every night.

I look forward to the future, for sure, but in some ways I don’t, really. I’m glad I (hopefully) have something really wonderful to look forward to, but that at the same time only magnifies this feeling of loss. I really can’t think about what might happen and how I would feel if I lost the baby.

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