That’s where I’ve spent my weekend.

Our bedroom was starting to resemble mine when I was 17 – it wasn’t all that tidy to begin with in July, and when we got the news about my mom I wasn’t all that inclined to change anything. By the time we came back from Warrenton (where my parents live) after she passed away, I was 6 weeks pregnant and had even less inclination to tackle the giant piles of laundry, random stacks of dusty books, and mysterious papers and clothing tags that had somehow taken over our so-called sanctuary. And so our room has remained really, really gross for over three months now.

I mean, remember when it looked like this?

(Not-really-related: When I was cleaning today I was thinking about this day and how my mom spearheaded the efforts to clean my house. I didn’t mention it on the blog, but it was in response to my depression and inertia after my second miscarriage. [Although to be honest, “depression” sounds like way too casual a word to describe how I felt. Some 31st birthday I had.] The post-it note on the lamp beside the bed reads from Luke 6:21 – “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” I look forward to it.)

Anyway, It’s still relatively gross, but this weekend I have done at least seven loads of laundry (both the stuff that needed to be washed, and EVERYTHING that was scattered around the room whether it was technically supposed to be “clean” or not). I also moved some stuff out of the room that had no business being there, including the suitcase I took to Warrenton in July (!). This is largely due in part to my increased energy*, but I think it’s also an example of my recent attempts to move out of survival mode.

The other thing I’ve done today is start to make a dent in my winter squash collection. I got several butternuts from Horse and Buggy (to make my favorite soup ever), and my dad gave me probably 8 or 10 squash from his garden. I can’t remember what they’re called. They look like acorn squash, but a bit smaller. Like this:

Mystery squash!

Anyway, I made a dent in my stash by roasting all the butternuts. I usually do this only once a year (and then keep all the squash in my freezer) and it feels like such a lovely fall tradition. Other kitchen-related activities: egg sandwiches, bacon, and popcorn – the popcorn was for Friday night, of course, watching the Project Runway finale. I used to make so much popcorn that I eventually had to institute a rule that I could only make it once a week. Every time I make it, I remind Steve that it’s my favorite food of all time and something I really think I could eat forever. (I’m often disappointed by Steve’s lack of enthusiasm for homemade popcorn, but then I remember it means more for me.) For a long time, it was the perfect way to end the work week – it still is, in fact; I just don’t make it every week anymore. I might have to start again, though.

And tonight: chili and cornbread. A much better dinner than last night’s, which was a bowl of Life cereal.

It’s been a really good weekend – our last unencumbered-by-plans weekend until mid-December, I think! Coming up we have a family party next weekend, the Trinity women’s retreat the weekend after that, then some long-awaited out of town guests … then Thanksgiving, and a trip to New York to see my lovely cousin Elizabeth! Whew. Needless to say, I’m glad I got so much accomplished. “So much” being relative these days, of course.

* My “increased energy” is really kind of laughable. I spent much of my day cooking bacon, folding laundry, and chopping squash in half, and I am so tired. But baby is busily growing from avocado-sized to onion-sized this week, which apparently is hard work! As for me, I really still just want to do this:

Too bad I’m sick of takeout food. Time to make chili!