I feel like as I get further and further into my pregnancy, the more the baby is taking over — both physically and metaphorically!

Yesterday Steve and Leah and I went to Babies R Us to complete a baby registry. I was really apprehensive and overwhelmed at the thought of registering and for the most part, wasn’t really looking forward to it. I would have been right to dread it if I didn’t have my pregnancy guru/personal shopper with me — the list of “nursery essentials” the store gave us was 100+ items long and included at least four different kinds of strollers! It is CRAZY what “they” think you “need” for a new baby. It reminded me a lot of what A Practical Wedding calls the “wedding industrial complex”. (If it tells you anything about how much I liked wedding planning and how well I do with huge things in my life to plan, I found APW way too overwhelming when I was engaged. Heh.)

Anyway, having Leah there was a lifesaver because as a mother of two, she could fill us in on what we really needed and what might be a waste. And it was actually a lot of fun to go through the store and choose items for our boy!

It makes it all seem so real, and finally not in a scary way! I’m actually really excited to get started on the nursery and get everything organized.

I can feel my thought process starting to shift, too — I’ve always dealt with anxiety by trying to nail down every last possible detail and address every possible what-if; getting all my ducks in a row as much as I am able to is often the only way I can feel peace when something huge is looming over me. I suppose this is why I am consumed now with thoughts on how I’m going to balance running and my yoga practice with a new baby; what I am going to wear to the beach this summer (it’s actually killing me that I won’t know what my body will be doing or how it’ll be feeling); and how baby and I will schedule our time together. It’s as though if I just get it all planned out in my mind ahead of time I won’t just feel more prepared — I will be more prepared. Having to just wait and see what things look like in May and June is frustrating. Heh.

We still have a lot of work ahead of us to make us more physically prepared for the baby. I think I am so focused on the logistics because to some extent, I know I am about to head into totally uncharted waters and I don’t know what to expect. I have a lot of fears about what the coming months may bring, and centering in on those concrete logistics helps me feel more in control. I have only 11 weeks left until my due date and 8 weeks until I’m considered full-term. That is not as much time as I like to think it is!

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