Well here we are at 32 weeks!

(Compare to 22 weeks:

Wow. Good thing I don’t have another 10 weeks to go!)

Apparently, baby this week is the size of a cantaloupe. It sure feels like there is a giant melon in there — he is definitely running out of room, and the constant movement I feel now feels very different than it did a month ago. Fewer hard kicks and a lot more wiggling and rolling. Sorry, baby, but you don’t have room to do a somersault anymore.

Since Steve isn’t at home, Teaker helped me take some pictures.

I am definitely feeling the effects of the third trimester — most notable this week is that, thanks to my old frenemy relaxin, my hips seem to want to be moving in opposite directions. I know this is a good thing — it’s gearing me up for labor — but at the same time, it makes walking very uncomfortable. I’ve been advised on certain yoga poses to avoid while I’m experiencing this, so combined with the awkwardness of trying to maneuver my giant belly through a sun salutation, I think I’m going to take a break from my regular classes this week and focus on doing a gentler flow at home. From what I hear, this surge of relaxin may calm down some in the coming weeks and I may yet be more comfortable one last time before the big finale.

I also am getting a lot of comments from friends, coworkers, and strangers alike on my appearance these days. (Why is it that my fellow social workers seem to forget that it’s not polite to point at someone and comment on just how pregnant they look, while the homeless men hanging around outside my office showered me with praise and effusive compliments yesterday? I don’t understand.) I can’t even tell you how many people have speculated that I will have a huge baby if I “really have two more months to go”, declared that I look like I’m “about to pop”, or openly questioned exactly how many babies I’m gestating. And yet I am measuring right at 32 weeks!

My sister in law pointed out the first time I got one of these comments that people seem to be so accustomed to seeing cute little second-trimester bellies that they forget or underestimate just how big a pregnant mama gets. Yes — I have two more months ago so I know I am going to get much bigger! Bring it on. I’m just glad I won’t be at work around my due date, so I won’t have to keep hearing “you’re still here?” and “you haven’t had that baby yet?” — Instead, I’m planning to stay cloistered at home with my kitties, who may think snarky comments about my size but will be unable to articulate them.

Anyway. Serenity now.

Some other third trimester fun facts:

what I’m eating: I am eating really well these days, apart from all the Valentine’s chocolates around. I am sticking to my 80/20 rule, which generally means I eat a huge salad or soup for lunch, healthy snacks throughout the afternoon, a balanced dinner, and some chocolate Haagen Dazs. I also can’t fit nearly as much food in my stomach these days, due both to the fact that my stomach is squished against my diaphragm and lungs, and also that I digest food very, very slowly now. So I haven’t been needing as big a snack at night — and which also probably contributes to the fact that I have gained all of one pound in the last month. Pregnancy weight gain is so weird.

what I’m doing: Yoga, very slowly and awkwardly. Waking up at night and then not being able to fall back asleep. Becoming ever more aware of the clutter and disorganization surrounding me. Baking, and thinking about what to bake next.

how I’m feeling: I hate to say this, but: irritable and hormonal. There’s nothing like coming home from yoga class and nearly pitching a fit because the cable won’t work. I better get a handle on this before I have a screaming baby to contend with …

Teaker makes a great photographer’s assistant.

Lastly, I had a bit of an epiphany this week. I’ve talked before about how my pregnancy has been a surreal experience that in a lot of ways I’ve struggled to adjust to, and one of the things that’s plagued me throughout the last several months is this idea that I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m not talking so much about pregnancy — everyone’s pregnancy is different, and as this is my first viable pregnancy of course I don’t always know what to expect. But the thought of coming home with a baby and being responsible for it is really overwhelming! I’ve spent a lot of time during my pregnancy polling the moms I know to get their advice on all sorts of things. I just feel so behind, like I’m struggling to keep up with a class that’s too advanced for me.

One thing my sister told me, though, was to just be confident in my choices and abilities as a mother. Confident? I thought. But I have no idea what I’m doing!

Then one day recently, all of a sudden, I realized that I basically know just as much as any other first-time mom does. All those moms encouraging me were once exactly where I am now — and they all figured it out.

And finally, I have confidence that I’ll figure it out too — one day, and one diaper, at a time.

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