So far the hardest part of being a mom hasn’t been the midnight feedings.

It hasn’t been the fussiness …

It hasn’t been the endless diapers or laundry or having to switch to decaf.

All of those are hard, of course, but for me the hardest part of being a mom is not having my own mom around. I knew motherhood would bring on a whole new aspect of grief, and in the last two weeks I think I have missed her more than I ever have. For the last eight months (almost nine!) I have gotten pretty used to living with this unmet desire — to have her back — but now that I’m a mother myself, it’s become a lot harder to reconcile my reality with what I so desperately want — but can never have.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

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