We’ve now survived ten days on our own!
“Survived” is really too negative a word. So far it’s been really great. As Will has gotten bigger (MUCH bigger — starting to outgrow some of his newborn clothes!) he’s been awake more and also fussy more, but it hasn’t been anything overly stressful. He is also starting to sleep longer stretches at night — our longest being four hours and thirteen minutes! We were so proud. And so well-rested the next day.
One thing we were warned about over and over before he was born was how sleep-deprived we would be and feel, and while we are only a few weeks in, Steve and I can both hesitantly say that the sleep deprivation part of having a newborn has not been that difficult. We are knocking on wood and crossing our fingers because I know it could catch up with us in a few weeks, but right now, with Will being 2.5 weeks old, we are managing pretty well.
We’ve gotten out of the house a number of times — yesterday to church, even! — which has been really good for me both in terms of building my confidence as well as boosting my spirits. On Friday I walked him around the park for nearly two hours! I’ll be out of these maternity jeans
eventually in no time.
Anyway, one thing I really wanted to do over the weekend was get in a quick yoga practice — an actual yoga practice, starting with pranayama breath and finishing with savasana. My few minutes in child’s pose or pigeon over the last week or so were a nice warm-up, but I really wanted to get back on the mat and pick up my practice again. So on Saturday, Steve and Will had some daddy-baby time (wherein, it turned out, Will fussed the whole time) while I unrolled my mat upstairs to do a 30-minute gentle hatha class from yogadownload.com.
First impressions? My body is tight. As in, I could tell that I hadn’t done much yoga in a month. My few forays into pigeon last week warned me of this; pigeon is one of my favorite poses and one in which I could always feel a deep stretch and release in my hips, but wow, was it different! Again I was surprised by how much my body has changed in the last few weeks and how much labor and delivery required of me. It felt amazing to be able to do deep twists again, and to lie on my back for savasana, and to not need so many blocks or props — but I do have some catching up to do!
Whatever’s going on with my foot is continuing to affect my downward-facing dog, which wasn’t any fun; it’s not very yogic of me but I’m secretly proud of how well my heels touch the floor in down dog, so it damages my pride a bit to not be able to do that right now. Even so, it feels really good to feel my body unwind and release in such a deep way. I had been looking forward to a real post-pregnancy yoga practice for a long time and yes, it was amazing to not have those 30 extra pounds on my frame. I had forgotten what it was like to feel so light!
Even so, it was hard to focus at first knowing that this was downstairs:
which made for a very different sort of practice. It felt unnatural to move my focus away from Will! I know that in the long term, maintaining my practice — and maintaining interests and hobbies in general that aren’t directly related to motherhood — will be essential, but this first time it felt a little weird. Honestly. I can’t even imagine how much weirder it will be the first time I go for a solo run or to a yoga class or even to meet a friend for lunch or coffee! He was literally just downstairs and I felt so far away from him.
That being said, by the end of the practice I was feeling rejuvenated and restored and more than ready to go hold my baby again. Since Will doesn’t nap on a regular schedule right now (let alone in his crib or pack n play), I don’t see myself fitting in much yoga while I’m at home alone with him, but over the next few weeks I’d like to see if I can start carving out a few times a week to practice when Steve is at home. Finding space in my new life for my yoga practice might be a challenge at first, but it’s one I’d like to meet. Even if it feels weird at first to have my baby in another room, I know that the more time I spend in child’s pose, the more I’ll have to give my child.