It’s hard to believe, but 2012 is half over already! I remember wanting to break out the champagne at this point last year, not even knowing it was about to get so, so much worse. But fortunately, I am feeling much better this year.

At the start of 2012 I laid out some intentions, and I thought I would spend some time tonight reviewing my plans for the year to see where I am at the halfway point.

Here’s what I wanted to do:

Pre-baby:

  • Work on worrying less. I have struggled with peace during my pregnancy and I don’t want it to interfere with the final trimester. I’m so afraid to allow myself to be excited! I want to move away from the cynic in me who doesn’t want to assume the best, and become more of the peaceful zen earth mother that I really want to be. And along those lines …
  • Trust my body to know what it’s doing. This means continuing to eat a healthy diet without trying to control how much weight I gain. And to trust it even when it seems to think I need to gain weight everywhere while I think it would be just as acceptable not to! Cultivate more of a feeling of compassion and respect for — and even pride in — my pregnant body.
  • Stay active and fit while listening to my body. Ideally I want to continue practicing yoga 3-4 times a week up until I deliver, but we’ll take it week by week, especially as I come into my last month. Listening to my body includes not only recognizing its limits, but also honoring its potential. (See above, re: camel pose.)
  • Figure out a way to get up on time on a regular basis. Heh. I have a feeling it’s going to come down to exercising a little more self-discipline in this area.

Post-baby:

  • Take it one day at a time. Do what I can while I’m adjusting to motherhood, without globalizing tough days or falling into an it’ll always be this hard mindset. One day at a time!
  • Trust my instincts. I don’t have much confidence in myself as a mother at this point, and when the baby arrives I want to really be able to rely on and trust my instincts to let me know what’s right for him. And trust my husband’s instincts too!
  • Stay active and fit despite the complications and challenges of my new life. I don’t appear to come from a long line of women who were back in their pre-pregnancy jeans after two weeks, so I’m prepared for this to take time and effort. I want to lose the baby weight (and, ideally, the weight I’ve gained since I got pregnant the first time), but more important to me is staying in good shape. Within a few months I want to be able to set up a rudimentary, flexible workout routine that includes running, yoga, and strength training. And not as something that’s an additional chore or strain on my schedule — but as a part of my daily life.

So how am I doing? Overall I feel really good about things! Before Will was born, I did put a lot of effort into worrying less, trusting my body, and staying as active as I could. While all the yoga I did couldn’t have prevented my long labor (I can’t stand when women smugly credit their short, easy labors to exercising and staying healthy during their pregnancies; just shut up, ok?), I do think that my near-obsession with it helped A LOT with the mental part of such a long endurance event. Just being accustomed to staying calm in the face of excruciating pain made a big difference. So yes: pre-baby intentions (mostly) met. The getting up on time thing didn’t exactly happen. Good thing I don’t have the option to lounge in bed anymore!

Newborn Will never wanted mommy to sleep.

These days, staying focused on my post-baby intentions can be a challenge. I have days where it’s easy and days when it’s really hard (mostly the taking-it-one-day-at-a-time part). I am trusting my instincts more and more, and I’m globalizing those tough days less and less. And I’m definitely staying active! Now that Will’s morning naps are a little more predictable (knock on wood) I’ve been able to bump up my running to four days a week, and maintain a twice-weekly yoga practice. It’s AWESOME. Getting to work out in the morning a) makes me feel great, b) does wonders for my mood, and c) helps me to feel more like myself.

And it really does make me a better mom. (So keep up those morning naps. Ha.)

Will is going to be 12 weeks old this week, so if I were returning to work my maternity leave would be at an end. While that thought is not as horrifying as I imagined it would be a few months ago, I really enjoy getting to spend my days with Will, and I feel extremely fortunate to be able to do that. He’s so much fun.

I actually miss him when he’s napping. I know.

So has 2012 been a year of jubilee? Considering the massive deficit we started the year with, it really wasn’t hard for 2012 to be an improvement on 2011. It’s been a year of change, obviously, but good change, and good challenge, and good stress, so in that sense, yes — I think it has great potential to be a year of jubilee. Both against the odds and for obvious reasons, it’s been a great year so far. Onward and upward!

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