I just don’t have time for a lot of things right now. (My 2014 new year’s resolution, after all, was “I just don’t have time for this crap.”) Here are some things I just don’t have the time or energy to care about right now:
1. Working out. I know — I know. Disclaimer: I should say that my entire list of things I don’t care about right now are all things I actually care deeply about but have to set aside for a time just for the sake of expediency. Working out is one of those things. I tried to resume running when Anna was about five weeks old, but a few excuses got in the way and I haven’t made it much of a priority since. One, my treadmill is in the basement, and my basement is dark (really, we need to do something about the lighting …). Two, the only time I have to run is either before dawn (which doesn’t solve the darkness issue) or after the kids go to bed, when I am too damn tired. Honestly, rest is a bigger priority for me right now than getting my speed back. And if I’m being even more honest, my heart’s not in it. I haven’t missed running much, and I think I’m just too tired to consider doing any kind of exercise (spinning, weight lifting, etc) that isn’t yoga or gentle swimming. To use a cliche that’s as exhausted as I am, I’m listening to my body. It’s telling me to rest. I just don’t care about getting my workout in. There’s time for that later.
2. Losing weight. I have about 10 pounds to go before I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight and omg, I just don’t care. I feel like I look fine. Yes, I’d like to lose those 10 pounds, but I really don’t care if it happens now or six months from now. The only reason I really care about losing weight is because all of my clothes are two sizes smaller than my current size and I’d eventually like to be able to wear a pair of pants that buttons. I also need to fit into my swimsuits this summer so I don’t have to spend the money on new ones.
3. Related: wearing real pants. I want to talk more about this later, but I’ve started wearing a personal uniform this winter and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Part of why I love it so much is because I just don’t care about wearing real pants right now. That’s for Summer 2015 Amy to think about. Leggings all day long, leggings forever.
(And yoga pants.)
(A few more things I care about less than I probably should right now: 1. showering. 2. saying no to dessert and wine. 3. wearing contacts and makeup. 4. leaving my house.)
Like I said, deep down I really do care about these things. I care about working out. But the time I have available to work out is so limited, and the opportunities I do have I’d rather sleep or practice yoga. When flu season is over I can bring the kids to the gym again and hit the pool or spin classes, but … that’s not today. I’ve chosen to not care about it, and that feels really good. (As an aside, I doubt distance running will make the leap with me to this new mom-of-two lifestyle. I don’t miss it much when I compare it to swimming, which I picked up during pregnancy, or cycling. Yoga will always be my first love, though, and right now it’s the only “exercise” I make time for, because it’s worth it to me. Perhaps 2015 will FINALLY be the year of the headstand.)
Likewise, I actually would like to see those last ten pounds of pregnancy weight melt away, if only to be able to wear my clothes. Physically I don’t care — ten pounds isn’t really a big deal to me and I don’t mind how I look right now. But it’d be nice to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, just, you know, because I know it’s in there. I imagine this will happen with time, especially once I get back to the gym. But for now I just don’t care. It’s great.
About the real pants, though … we’ll see. The leggings might be a permanent lifestyle choice. 🙂